It's hard to watch someone die right in front of your eyes. It's also hard to watch someone fuck up their life, but I'm doing both. People tend to think that I'm incompetent and unintelligent just because I cuss a lot. But, I am not and would rather be underestimated than overestimated. Then it's not so much a letdown. But then people just think you're fatuous, which I am not. I have a wide vocabulary I just don't use it unless I'm in the mood.

Anyways, it's so hard to watch you completely fall apart. I feel there is nothing I can do to save you or even help. But, at the same time I feel myself slipping and fading away. I don't know what to do but just keep on dealing with it the same way...Hold it in and Cigarettes and Write. I'm trying so hard not to fuck up and give but everywhere I look everyone is doubting me. Which should give me even more reason to say SHOVE IT and prove them wrong. It dwells inside me but I just have to push it and throw it away. I get so confused on what to do. It's rather confusing.